Elephino

What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino!

Hell if I know. Yeah. One of those weeks. I gained back what I lost last week -- 1.6 up, back to 168.6.

I have no idea. I spent all week bouncing up and down, weight-wise. Every day, practically, I stepped on the scale to a new result.

I'd blame it on the pizza and cake Saturday, except that just yesterday I was at 167.2, and while bad eating sometimes takes a day or so to show up on the scale, I'm pretty sure it does not wait for four days.

I went a little over my minimum on Monday, but only by two points, so that shouldn't have hit me this hard. And I was a point under minimum yesterday, so you'd think they'd have averaged out.

It's been three weeks since my last gain, which means this probably isn't monthly water weight (though my cycle's so screwy, it's always an option, I suppose).

Apparently, the whole two-steps-forward-one-step-back thing is just how it's going to be for me, for now. Does that mean I'm closing in on my body's preferred "final" weight? I'd hoped to get down to about 145, but at my current rate, that'll take another whole year. But I certainly feel like I'm closing in on a point where I don't know if I'll be able to trim too many more calories, certainly not on a long-term basis.

I'm definitely noticing some results from the strength training I've been doing for the last couple of months. Even with the slowed weight loss, my clothes are getting looser. (My size M knits are actually loose enough that I'm tempted to try on a pair of Smalls, next time I'm in Target. Just for kicks.) So maybe it's partly a gaining-muscle/losing-fat thing?

On the plus side, I feel a little disappointed, but not particularly discouraged by the gain. I seem to have finally internalized the whole "but the overall trend is still in the right direction" thing. So maybe I do this down-down-up dance for a while longer, and just focus on making my body stronger. Maybe once I've built up my muscles a little more, I'll start burning calories again. Or maybe I just settle out at around 160? It could be worse. I think I look pretty good where I am now -- and the stuff I don't like is mostly saggy skin, which losing weight won't fix, anyway.

It's a weird place to be, on this journey, but I'm weirdly at peace with it.

Elephino.