Down 1.2 this week to 158.4, so I'm pretty much back to where I was before I had that one weird huge drop a few weeks back and then screwed it up by gaining a lot for two weeks in a row. Heh.
I'm thinking about dropping my Weight Watchers subscription. I can count on one hand the number of times I've logged in over the last three weeks, and at least half of those have been simply to log my weight.
I don't go to meetings and my support group is my friends and family, so there's nothing to lose there. And the website simply isn't giving me much that I can use. I've been double-tracking my weekly weigh-ins on a spreadsheet anyway, and a spreadsheet I own myself can give me much more customized (and therefore useful) graphs and calculations. I occasionally hit the website for recipes -- but since I almost always rebuild the recipes a bit (to replace items we don't eat, or adjust serving sizes, or reduce carbs for Penny's sake) I usually have to recalculate the points anyway, so I can just switch to using the other gajillion-and-one diet recipe sites out there. I've hit all the big milestones I'm going to hit, so I'm not looking forward to the validation of little star icons. I'm not a forums person, I don't use their coupons to buy their food, and it's been ages since I've seen anything new or helpful in the advice columns.
I've been more or less maintaining my weight for the last three months. (Actually, over the last twelve weeks, I've been losing at an average rate of 0.2 pounds a week. I go down, I go up, I go down, I go up. Close enough.) I've been managing my food without tracking it for the last six weeks or so, and honestly, I think I've mostly got it. When I've gained weight, it hasn't been a mystery: I know exactly what I've done wrong and what I have to do to fix it.
The challenge for me now is to keep watching it and not let it slide. To keep stepping on the scale every morning and tracking it every week and screwing down my discipline when I've let things slide too much. But I don't really see the website helping with that.
I'm paid up for this month, but unless something happens to change my mind, I'll cancel before next month's payment is due.
Which, coincidentally, will be just in time to coincide with my 2-year diet anniversary.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Cringe
Apparently, I had too much fun at my cousin's wedding festivities. I'm up another 1.4 pounds, which tips me back over my red-light siren weight of 160, to 160.2. So starting today, I'm back to tracking every little thing I eat, and weighing and measuring everything, and trying to get back to the gym (though with the daycare closed both Friday and Monday, I'm probably not getting in my 3/week until the following week).
It's all very well to relax and overeat on special occasions, but I've been letting that relaxation slide into everyday life. Time to nip that in the bud.
(I'm hungry already.)
It's all very well to relax and overeat on special occasions, but I've been letting that relaxation slide into everyday life. Time to nip that in the bud.
(I'm hungry already.)
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
WINCE
I gained three pounds this week. Three.
And I don't even have a good excuse. I know exactly what went wrong.
The CSA brought us a big handful of tomatillas, two weeks ago. Now, I like Mexican food, but a little tomatilla goes a long way, and I didn't really want to be eating Mexican every night. So last weekend, I made a huge batch of guacamole. Six avocados' worth.
I had a plan, to keep myself from eating all that guacamole. Half of it, I sent with my husband to his monthly D&D game. The guys devoured it more or less instantly, and were, by all reports, most grateful.
Now, while he was at his game, I'd intended to meet up with some friends and their kids for dinner. I figured that would give my kids something to do to keep them occupied, and I could take along the rest of the guacamole and some chips, and sure I'd eat some, but so would my friends (and maybe even the kids). It was a plan!
Alas, the friends had to reschedule, and I found myself sitting at home, with the kids in bed and the husband still out... And the guac and chips were just sitting there. Begging to be eaten. I didn't eat all of it, but I probably ate more than I would've if I'd shared it.
And then I had some more the next day. And later that night, for a snack. And then the day after that, I was home alone, waiting on the A/C repair crew, and there was really only a little bit left...
It's not even the guacamole that killed me, though the gods know it's full of fat. But avocado oil is one of the healthy ones, and overindulging on avocado doesn't pack on three pounds in a week. Nope. That was the chips. It's the fried starches and the salt. Not only are they fattening, not only do they make me retain water for days afterward, but I can't stop. If there is an open bag of chips in the house, I will eat some. And then I will eat some more. And then I will lick my fingers and pry the crumbs out of the corners of the bag.
This is why I should not allow chips into my house. Three. Frikkin. Pounds. Ouch.
(But it was amazing guacamole.)
And I don't even have a good excuse. I know exactly what went wrong.
The CSA brought us a big handful of tomatillas, two weeks ago. Now, I like Mexican food, but a little tomatilla goes a long way, and I didn't really want to be eating Mexican every night. So last weekend, I made a huge batch of guacamole. Six avocados' worth.
I had a plan, to keep myself from eating all that guacamole. Half of it, I sent with my husband to his monthly D&D game. The guys devoured it more or less instantly, and were, by all reports, most grateful.
Now, while he was at his game, I'd intended to meet up with some friends and their kids for dinner. I figured that would give my kids something to do to keep them occupied, and I could take along the rest of the guacamole and some chips, and sure I'd eat some, but so would my friends (and maybe even the kids). It was a plan!
Alas, the friends had to reschedule, and I found myself sitting at home, with the kids in bed and the husband still out... And the guac and chips were just sitting there. Begging to be eaten. I didn't eat all of it, but I probably ate more than I would've if I'd shared it.
And then I had some more the next day. And later that night, for a snack. And then the day after that, I was home alone, waiting on the A/C repair crew, and there was really only a little bit left...
It's not even the guacamole that killed me, though the gods know it's full of fat. But avocado oil is one of the healthy ones, and overindulging on avocado doesn't pack on three pounds in a week. Nope. That was the chips. It's the fried starches and the salt. Not only are they fattening, not only do they make me retain water for days afterward, but I can't stop. If there is an open bag of chips in the house, I will eat some. And then I will eat some more. And then I will lick my fingers and pry the crumbs out of the corners of the bag.
This is why I should not allow chips into my house. Three. Frikkin. Pounds. Ouch.
(But it was amazing guacamole.)
Wednesday, August 18, 2010
Surprise!
I'm... down to 155.8 -- a loss of 3 pounds over the week. Which is quite the surprise, as yesterday morning I was still clocking in at 158, and I spent three days eating pizza and birthday cake in not-insignificant quantities. Though as I've noted before, my scale is not in its right mind. The Wii had noticed some downward trending, too, though, so I guess it's genuine. That knocks me firmly past a grand total loss of 115 (to 117.2, precisely).
I have trouble celebrating it, though, because I'm not entirely sure what I did to deserve it.
One item I'm proud of, though: Sunday, I was at a mall with a friend, and we stopped at the food court for lunch. I'd figured on going to Chick-fil-A, because they have some reasonable options, but had forgotten that Chick-fil-A doesn't operate on Sundays. So we wandered around to try to figure out what else to get, and I eventually found myself drawn to the Japanese food place.
I was pondering the chicken teriyaki and wondering if they would let me substitute miso soup for the fried rice (because I love fried rice, and if I got it, I would certainly have eaten entirely too much of it) when my eye was caught by some fresh fruit in the display case. And my body said Oh, hell yes.
I ended up with a bowl of miso soup and a big container of fruit for lunch. Not because I was trying to be on-plan, particularly, but because it looked so damn good. And it was good. It was amazing, actually. I even ate the cantaloupe, and I don't even usually like cantaloupe.
Apparently, my body was telling me I needed fruit. Apparently, I was able to hear it, and apparently, I listened.
This is a big deal, for me. I'm really bad at hearing what my body wants to tell me. But somehow, I did it this time.
Now that... That, I'm proud of.
I have trouble celebrating it, though, because I'm not entirely sure what I did to deserve it.
One item I'm proud of, though: Sunday, I was at a mall with a friend, and we stopped at the food court for lunch. I'd figured on going to Chick-fil-A, because they have some reasonable options, but had forgotten that Chick-fil-A doesn't operate on Sundays. So we wandered around to try to figure out what else to get, and I eventually found myself drawn to the Japanese food place.
I was pondering the chicken teriyaki and wondering if they would let me substitute miso soup for the fried rice (because I love fried rice, and if I got it, I would certainly have eaten entirely too much of it) when my eye was caught by some fresh fruit in the display case. And my body said Oh, hell yes.
I ended up with a bowl of miso soup and a big container of fruit for lunch. Not because I was trying to be on-plan, particularly, but because it looked so damn good. And it was good. It was amazing, actually. I even ate the cantaloupe, and I don't even usually like cantaloupe.
Apparently, my body was telling me I needed fruit. Apparently, I was able to hear it, and apparently, I listened.
This is a big deal, for me. I'm really bad at hearing what my body wants to tell me. But somehow, I did it this time.
Now that... That, I'm proud of.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Little Off The Top
I lost 0.6 this week, which nudges me just past where I was before I went on vacation, to 158.2. If that .2 had fallen off, I could officially say that I've lost a total of 115 pounds, but oh well. I'm actually surprised that I lost at all, because I wound up eating out quite a lot last week, and did not meet any of my exercise goals.
I'm trying to be good this week so I can indulge this weekend. It's my daughter's birthday tomorrow, and the party is Saturday, plus a book I wrote is being released, so I've got a lot of fun stuff planned for this weekend, and a fair amount of it involves wonderful, delicious, really quite bad for me food.
But! But! But! I was in dire need of a t-back bra to wear with a dress, and I just happened to be passing by a Victoria's Secret, so I thought -- why not? I went in, and not only did they have exactly the bra I needed, in my size, and in the color I needed -- but it was incredibly comfortable. I mean, weirdly comfortable. Bras are not, in my experience (many years of it, because I was a C cup by the 7th grade), ever actually comfortable. I was insanely excited about that bra for days after I bought it. I haven't been able to shop at Victoria's Secret since early college -- and now I can't wait to go back, slightly expensive or not!
I'm trying to be good this week so I can indulge this weekend. It's my daughter's birthday tomorrow, and the party is Saturday, plus a book I wrote is being released, so I've got a lot of fun stuff planned for this weekend, and a fair amount of it involves wonderful, delicious, really quite bad for me food.
But! But! But! I was in dire need of a t-back bra to wear with a dress, and I just happened to be passing by a Victoria's Secret, so I thought -- why not? I went in, and not only did they have exactly the bra I needed, in my size, and in the color I needed -- but it was incredibly comfortable. I mean, weirdly comfortable. Bras are not, in my experience (many years of it, because I was a C cup by the 7th grade), ever actually comfortable. I was insanely excited about that bra for days after I bought it. I haven't been able to shop at Victoria's Secret since early college -- and now I can't wait to go back, slightly expensive or not!
Wednesday, August 4, 2010
...Easy Go
Weighed in at 158.8 this morning, which is not quite back to where I was, pre-vacation, but it gets me comfortably back out of the 160s and on my way back down.
Of course, I may well see a bump up tomorrow morning. We went out to eat last night and I had a whole mess of hush puppies. With butter. ("Mess o' puppies" is a technical culinary term. I promise. Would I lie to you?) But they were soooo tasty!
I really think I'm beginning to approach equilibrium, with my weight. I'm mostly comfortable with the amount of food I'm eating (usually), and even when I go off-plan and don't log for a couple of days, I'm doing okay at holding my own. When I look at my graphs, I've gone from a fairly steady and smooth downward curve to jaggedy bumps and lurches. The overall average trend is still downward, but it's definitely starting to level off, and it looks like I'll probably even out somewhere around 155.
I could live with that.
Of course, I may well see a bump up tomorrow morning. We went out to eat last night and I had a whole mess of hush puppies. With butter. ("Mess o' puppies" is a technical culinary term. I promise. Would I lie to you?) But they were soooo tasty!
I really think I'm beginning to approach equilibrium, with my weight. I'm mostly comfortable with the amount of food I'm eating (usually), and even when I go off-plan and don't log for a couple of days, I'm doing okay at holding my own. When I look at my graphs, I've gone from a fairly steady and smooth downward curve to jaggedy bumps and lurches. The overall average trend is still downward, but it's definitely starting to level off, and it looks like I'll probably even out somewhere around 155.
I could live with that.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Normal
I'm up 1.8 pounds over the last two weeks, back over the 160 mark to 160.2. (It was even higher than that, Monday, but that's not official.)
No stress. No regrets, either. I mostly tried to eat sensibly, but there was a fair amount of fattening food, and there was some stress-eating, and then there was a Garrett kiosk at the airport as I was leaving, and then I met up with a friend for fancy French food, and there was the Mike's Hard Lemonade that (once I thought to look it up) had about 50% more calories than I'd estimated (and alcohol makes me retain water for a day or so, anyway).
We did a bit of walking around, but not as much as I'd expected, and what with one thing and another, I only got to the gym once in the last two weeks. (When I went back on Monday, it kicked my ass, but it felt really good.)
So... Yeah. I splurged a bit, and I bloody well enjoyed it, and now I'm back on the wagon, and the weight is coming back off.
This is what normal people do, right? They go on vacation and splurge and gain a little, and then they buckle down to get it back under control before it can get out of hand.
Yeah. I can do that. I can do this.
No stress. No regrets, either. I mostly tried to eat sensibly, but there was a fair amount of fattening food, and there was some stress-eating, and then there was a Garrett kiosk at the airport as I was leaving, and then I met up with a friend for fancy French food, and there was the Mike's Hard Lemonade that (once I thought to look it up) had about 50% more calories than I'd estimated (and alcohol makes me retain water for a day or so, anyway).
We did a bit of walking around, but not as much as I'd expected, and what with one thing and another, I only got to the gym once in the last two weeks. (When I went back on Monday, it kicked my ass, but it felt really good.)
So... Yeah. I splurged a bit, and I bloody well enjoyed it, and now I'm back on the wagon, and the weight is coming back off.
This is what normal people do, right? They go on vacation and splurge and gain a little, and then they buckle down to get it back under control before it can get out of hand.
Yeah. I can do that. I can do this.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Dink
Despite the summer bash and skipping the gym for the entire week, I managed to drop another 0.8 pounds, to 158.4. (It was down to 158.0 before the bash. Ah, well. I regret nothing!)
I'm only getting to the gym twice this week, though I think lugging a 2-year-old through two airports (including O'Hare) by myself will mostly make up for the missed session. Then I've got a wedding to attend and a week of living with my mother-in-law, so I'm kind of bracing for some celebration and stress eating. Not to mention what will happen if we visit Matt's grandmother and she decides I need to be Fed.
At any rate, I'll be out of town next week, so I'm missing that weigh-in. (I may step on my MiL's scale a time or two, just for a reality check, but I'm not logging an official weigh-in from a scale that isn't mine.)
Wish me luck, and see you in two weeks!
I'm only getting to the gym twice this week, though I think lugging a 2-year-old through two airports (including O'Hare) by myself will mostly make up for the missed session. Then I've got a wedding to attend and a week of living with my mother-in-law, so I'm kind of bracing for some celebration and stress eating. Not to mention what will happen if we visit Matt's grandmother and she decides I need to be Fed.
At any rate, I'll be out of town next week, so I'm missing that weigh-in. (I may step on my MiL's scale a time or two, just for a reality check, but I'm not logging an official weigh-in from a scale that isn't mine.)
Wish me luck, and see you in two weeks!
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Whut.
So, I had a long weekend involving ice cream and Cool Whip and movie popcorn with "butter" and hot dogs and cheeseburgers and whipped cream and cake and potato salad and chips. I didn't so much as open my Weight Watchers log for three and a half days, and I skipped the gym on Monday. I was braced for a gain and praying I hadn't gone back over 163.
So I was kind of nonplussed, if pleased, to be down 2.2 pounds to 159.2 this morning. Which means that despite some backsliding, I've met (barely) the goal I set a while back, of being in the 150s in time for the big Summer Bash reunion thing, which is this weekend.
Yeah, I kind of expect to not be in the 150s again by next week, too.
Oh, and: crap. I'm going to two weddings this summer, and my smallest dress is an 18, and my only skirts that fit are inappropriately short and/or black. I should probably go shopping soon.
So I was kind of nonplussed, if pleased, to be down 2.2 pounds to 159.2 this morning. Which means that despite some backsliding, I've met (barely) the goal I set a while back, of being in the 150s in time for the big Summer Bash reunion thing, which is this weekend.
Yeah, I kind of expect to not be in the 150s again by next week, too.
Oh, and: crap. I'm going to two weddings this summer, and my smallest dress is an 18, and my only skirts that fit are inappropriately short and/or black. I should probably go shopping soon.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Up Again
Up again this week about half a pound, so I'm up to 161.4.
I ought to feel disappointed or something, but I'm really not. Mostly, I think, because I'm not seeing a lot in the mirror that simply losing weight will fix, anymore. Which is not to say that I like everything I see, of course, but it's not as simple as, "Yuck, I'm fat!" any more.
Matt took this picture of me a few weeks ago, and my reaction was actually, "Oh, holy crap, I'm looking bony!" When I look in the mirror before I step into the shower, that reaction is basically confirmed -- my collarbones stand out, and I can see the bones on my chest shifting. Which I've always thought looked slightly gross. My cheeks and jowls are slightly fleshy, left over from being fat, but my neck and chest, which don't have a lot of excess skin, are verging on too thin for my tastes.
The excess skin on my arms and legs is definitely gross -- I've been doing a lot of selective cropping on my summer swim pictures, let me tell you -- but losing more weight will not make my skin tighter. It will, in fact, have the opposite effect. The only things that can make my skin tight again are a) time (lots of it), and b) surgery that I can't afford. I'm going to have to reconcile myself to that, I suspect.
My hips and abdomen are bigger than I'd like -- but that's more to do with my overall body shape than mere fat. I can remember hating that my hips were wider than my chest, and the way my abdomen pooched out, back in high school, when I weighed 135. (And let's be honest: I've carried two babies in that abdomen and delivered them with those hips. My baby-factory region is not going to ever look like it did in high school.)
And balancing all that... Turning sideways in the mirror is a pleasant surprise -- my behind is smaller than it's ever been, I think. I can actually make out muscles in my arms, when the loose skin isn't in the way. Even if it's wider on the bottom than the top, I've got hourglass curves again. (My secret guilty pleasure: when I leave the daycare in the morning, the sun casts my shadow on the sidewalk in front of me, and I love to watch my hips sway when I walk back to the car.) I'm in pretty good shape for a woman who's closing in on 40 (especially considering that when I was 35, I was closing in on 300 pounds).
So a half-pound gain this week doesn't really bother me that much. I need to exercise some discipline again to keep it from going up three weeks in a row, but I'm beginning to wonder if "around 160" is where I need to stay, at least for a while.
I ought to feel disappointed or something, but I'm really not. Mostly, I think, because I'm not seeing a lot in the mirror that simply losing weight will fix, anymore. Which is not to say that I like everything I see, of course, but it's not as simple as, "Yuck, I'm fat!" any more.
Matt took this picture of me a few weeks ago, and my reaction was actually, "Oh, holy crap, I'm looking bony!" When I look in the mirror before I step into the shower, that reaction is basically confirmed -- my collarbones stand out, and I can see the bones on my chest shifting. Which I've always thought looked slightly gross. My cheeks and jowls are slightly fleshy, left over from being fat, but my neck and chest, which don't have a lot of excess skin, are verging on too thin for my tastes.
The excess skin on my arms and legs is definitely gross -- I've been doing a lot of selective cropping on my summer swim pictures, let me tell you -- but losing more weight will not make my skin tighter. It will, in fact, have the opposite effect. The only things that can make my skin tight again are a) time (lots of it), and b) surgery that I can't afford. I'm going to have to reconcile myself to that, I suspect.
My hips and abdomen are bigger than I'd like -- but that's more to do with my overall body shape than mere fat. I can remember hating that my hips were wider than my chest, and the way my abdomen pooched out, back in high school, when I weighed 135. (And let's be honest: I've carried two babies in that abdomen and delivered them with those hips. My baby-factory region is not going to ever look like it did in high school.)
And balancing all that... Turning sideways in the mirror is a pleasant surprise -- my behind is smaller than it's ever been, I think. I can actually make out muscles in my arms, when the loose skin isn't in the way. Even if it's wider on the bottom than the top, I've got hourglass curves again. (My secret guilty pleasure: when I leave the daycare in the morning, the sun casts my shadow on the sidewalk in front of me, and I love to watch my hips sway when I walk back to the car.) I'm in pretty good shape for a woman who's closing in on 40 (especially considering that when I was 35, I was closing in on 300 pounds).
So a half-pound gain this week doesn't really bother me that much. I need to exercise some discipline again to keep it from going up three weeks in a row, but I'm beginning to wonder if "around 160" is where I need to stay, at least for a while.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
And Up Again
That pound I lost last week? It came back. No question as to why, either: grilled fajitas with friends on Saturday, followed by Father's Day ice cream and BLTs, corn on the cob, watermelon, and more ice cream on Sunday. And then Rock Band Night Monday.
I don't think any one of them would have hurt me too bad, but put all together... yeah, I'm back up a bit.
And you know what? It was totally worth it. Summer is the best time for good food. Grilled chicken and peppers and onions, farmer's market tomatoes and corn and watermelon... You damn well better believe I went back for seconds!
So I'm back up over 160, a bit, but I'm not sweating it. I didn't gain it by slipping back into old bad habits, covertly snarfing doughnuts and candy bars in the office kitchen. I gained it eating good food with good friends and having a good time, and I'm confident I'll lose it again. No regrets.
(Is this how normal people feel about food? I could get used to it.)
I don't think any one of them would have hurt me too bad, but put all together... yeah, I'm back up a bit.
And you know what? It was totally worth it. Summer is the best time for good food. Grilled chicken and peppers and onions, farmer's market tomatoes and corn and watermelon... You damn well better believe I went back for seconds!
So I'm back up over 160, a bit, but I'm not sweating it. I didn't gain it by slipping back into old bad habits, covertly snarfing doughnuts and candy bars in the office kitchen. I gained it eating good food with good friends and having a good time, and I'm confident I'll lose it again. No regrets.
(Is this how normal people feel about food? I could get used to it.)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
B'dmp!
A one-pound loss this week nudges me, by the narrowest of narrow margins, out of the 160's and into the 150's -- 159.8, pretty much the lowest it can be (since my scale does its partials in 0.2 increments) and still be less than 160. So while I'm holding my breath against a gain next week bringing me back up (Father's Day this weekend, including a meal with my family, which is not often diet-friendly), I guess I can say I've technically met my goal of being below 160 before the Summer Bash. And if I'm careful, I'll still (again?) be in the 150s when it rolls around.(Though given the amount of food likely to be there, it's entirely possible that I might pop up afterwards, hehe. Maybe I should focus on building a buffer, there.)
My daughter begged me -- begged me -- for cauliflower soup last night. How do you turn down someone begging you for something that tasty and healthy, even knowing that the other two members of the household don't like it? You don't. So I made two kinds of soup for dinner last night. My fridge is stuffed with leftovers, now. Tasty, tasty soup leftovers.
My daughter begged me -- begged me -- for cauliflower soup last night. How do you turn down someone begging you for something that tasty and healthy, even knowing that the other two members of the household don't like it? You don't. So I made two kinds of soup for dinner last night. My fridge is stuffed with leftovers, now. Tasty, tasty soup leftovers.
Thursday, June 10, 2010
...Or It Didn't Happen!
Poor Matt; I made him go through something like three separate rounds of taking photos of me this morning. The first round, the camera was set up for full sunlight, so the pics turned out too dark; the second set, he only took pics from my waist up (and while I think those look better -- damn my child-birthin' hips! -- they're not so good for comparisons); and finally, the third set, I got some usable shots. Whew, and thanks, hon!
Here's my starting picture, almost exactly two years ago (I'm the one holding the baby):
And here I am now:
And just for fun, here's the whole spread of baby-holding pictures, each taken almost exactly a year apart:
The kid keeps getting bigger, and I keep getting smaller! (Though I have to say, the 40-pound difference between '09 and '10 is significantly less noticeable than the 70-pound difference between '08 and '09 -- more than the extra 30 pounds should make, really. Maybe it's an illusion caused by the angles of the shots and positioning of the kid's leg.)
Here's my starting picture, almost exactly two years ago (I'm the one holding the baby):
And here I am now:
And just for fun, here's the whole spread of baby-holding pictures, each taken almost exactly a year apart:
The kid keeps getting bigger, and I keep getting smaller! (Though I have to say, the 40-pound difference between '09 and '10 is significantly less noticeable than the 70-pound difference between '08 and '09 -- more than the extra 30 pounds should make, really. Maybe it's an illusion caused by the angles of the shots and positioning of the kid's leg.)
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
She Scores!
Whahoo! I'm down 2.2 pounds this week, which is just enough to bump me over the 5th 10% goal that I've been staring at since (dear gods) November. 160.8 puts me only barely past the goal weight of 161, with no guarantee that I won't bounce right back up over it next week, but there we have it!
I'll have to get Matt to take a comparison photo in the next day or so so I can post that. (He took a picture of me just this weekend, actually, but I was in a swimsuit, and when I saw it, well... I was braced for the fact that my boobs were hanging down to my waist -- seriously, I need a bathing suit with an underwire or something -- but I hadn't realized how horrible my legs look; there's so much loose skin there that they look saggy and wrinkly all down my thighs. Ug. Maybe I should start saving up for cosmetic surgery to get some of this excess skin removed, as I suspect I'm too old to expect much elasticity from my skin.
Anyway, I'll get Matt to take a picture of me wearing pants in the next day or so and post it.
In theory, another 10% of my weight lost would take me down to 145, slipping me just under the BMI "normal" gate. But given how much my weight loss has slowed in the last few months, I'm wondering if 145 might be a little too ambitious (cosmetic surgery notwithstanding -- I bet I've got at least 10-15 pounds of excess skin hanging on me, here). And quite honestly, if I do have 15 pounds of excess skin hanging on me, then the amount of fat in my body is already pretty close to "normal". So I've set my next goal to 150. We'll see how long it takes me to get there, and how much effort it is to stay in that range before I decide whether to go further.
I'll have to get Matt to take a comparison photo in the next day or so so I can post that. (He took a picture of me just this weekend, actually, but I was in a swimsuit, and when I saw it, well... I was braced for the fact that my boobs were hanging down to my waist -- seriously, I need a bathing suit with an underwire or something -- but I hadn't realized how horrible my legs look; there's so much loose skin there that they look saggy and wrinkly all down my thighs. Ug. Maybe I should start saving up for cosmetic surgery to get some of this excess skin removed, as I suspect I'm too old to expect much elasticity from my skin.
Anyway, I'll get Matt to take a picture of me wearing pants in the next day or so and post it.
In theory, another 10% of my weight lost would take me down to 145, slipping me just under the BMI "normal" gate. But given how much my weight loss has slowed in the last few months, I'm wondering if 145 might be a little too ambitious (cosmetic surgery notwithstanding -- I bet I've got at least 10-15 pounds of excess skin hanging on me, here). And quite honestly, if I do have 15 pounds of excess skin hanging on me, then the amount of fat in my body is already pretty close to "normal". So I've set my next goal to 150. We'll see how long it takes me to get there, and how much effort it is to stay in that range before I decide whether to go further.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Oops.
I didn't do too badly on the writing retreat, but then I came home and promptly went out to dinner two nights in a row. Once at La Tolteca, where I overindulged in chips, and once to the County Grill, where I ate half a barbecued chicken (well, most of it) and cornbread muffins and warm potato salad...
So, er, yeah, I kind of undid last week's loss. I was at 163 this morning, up 1.4 pounds. I'm hoping some of that is water weight, from all the extra salt. But still, bad bad bad! Back on the wagon for me!
(But man, oh, man, the barbecue and the cornbread and the potato salad were worth it.)
So, er, yeah, I kind of undid last week's loss. I was at 163 this morning, up 1.4 pounds. I'm hoping some of that is water weight, from all the extra salt. But still, bad bad bad! Back on the wagon for me!
(But man, oh, man, the barbecue and the cornbread and the potato salad were worth it.)
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Huhn?
What? I lost 1.8 pounds again this week! Two good weeks in a row! Am I allowed to do that? Shh, don't tell the Diet Police!
So I'm at 161.4 now, officially crossing the marker of having lost 110 pounds total. I'm only half a pound from meeting my fifth 10% goal (boy, this one is taking long enough -- I passed the fourth one in mid-November!) and I'm solidly on track for the goal I mentioned last week of being below the 160 mark in time for the summer bash in July.
Onward and downward!
So I'm at 161.4 now, officially crossing the marker of having lost 110 pounds total. I'm only half a pound from meeting my fifth 10% goal (boy, this one is taking long enough -- I passed the fourth one in mid-November!) and I'm solidly on track for the goal I mentioned last week of being below the 160 mark in time for the summer bash in July.
Onward and downward!
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Creep Creep Creep
I forgot to post last week: I'd gained a pound. It wasn't unexpected, as I'd kind of splurged with eating out for several days in a row.
This week, I'm back down to 163.2, so my net loss over two weeks was 0.8 pounds. Guess I can't complain too much. And aside from a birthday party this weekend, I don't think I've got any other big splurge occasions for a while, so hopefully I'll be able to stay on track for a bit. I'd really like to be below 160 in time for the Summer Bash in July. (That's 3.5 pounds to lose in about 7 weeks. Given that my rate of loss lately is hovering around half a pound a week... it's possible. If I can manage to stay on plan.)
I'm kind of wondering if I should set my "final" goal at around 155. I have a whole lot of extra skin sitting around these days, left over from being enormously fat and then fat and pregnant. I have a horrible case of granny-arms, and when I stand up, the extra skin from my hips and thighs falls down and bunches up around my knees, which is making me almost more self-conscious about wearing shorts than I was when I was merely fat. If I could afford to have all that excess skin surgically removed, I'd be willing to bet it would drop me by a solid 10-15 pounds. At least. (Also, it might move my boobs back up to my chest from my waist.) Alas, it's not a health hazard and I'm not wealthy, so surgery isn't really an option. And I'm old enough that my skin isn't as elastic as it used to be, and I don't think I can expect it to tighten up very much on its own. So I need to take that 10-15 extra pounds into account when I decide on my final weight.
Counting in favor of that option, by the way, is another sign of progress: I can actually put my old high school class ring on again. (Yes, I still have it.) In fact, I can even put it on the finger it was originally measured for, though it's a snug fit and I wouldn't want to do any exercising or go out in hot weather with it. But I can get it on and off again. Which is pretty cool.
Anyway, we'll see. As slow as I'm losing these days, I've got plenty of time to decide.
This week, I'm back down to 163.2, so my net loss over two weeks was 0.8 pounds. Guess I can't complain too much. And aside from a birthday party this weekend, I don't think I've got any other big splurge occasions for a while, so hopefully I'll be able to stay on track for a bit. I'd really like to be below 160 in time for the Summer Bash in July. (That's 3.5 pounds to lose in about 7 weeks. Given that my rate of loss lately is hovering around half a pound a week... it's possible. If I can manage to stay on plan.)
I'm kind of wondering if I should set my "final" goal at around 155. I have a whole lot of extra skin sitting around these days, left over from being enormously fat and then fat and pregnant. I have a horrible case of granny-arms, and when I stand up, the extra skin from my hips and thighs falls down and bunches up around my knees, which is making me almost more self-conscious about wearing shorts than I was when I was merely fat. If I could afford to have all that excess skin surgically removed, I'd be willing to bet it would drop me by a solid 10-15 pounds. At least. (Also, it might move my boobs back up to my chest from my waist.) Alas, it's not a health hazard and I'm not wealthy, so surgery isn't really an option. And I'm old enough that my skin isn't as elastic as it used to be, and I don't think I can expect it to tighten up very much on its own. So I need to take that 10-15 extra pounds into account when I decide on my final weight.
Counting in favor of that option, by the way, is another sign of progress: I can actually put my old high school class ring on again. (Yes, I still have it.) In fact, I can even put it on the finger it was originally measured for, though it's a snug fit and I wouldn't want to do any exercising or go out in hot weather with it. But I can get it on and off again. Which is pretty cool.
Anyway, we'll see. As slow as I'm losing these days, I've got plenty of time to decide.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Turnaround
Two years ago, when I was doing the annual benefits re-up, I thought that since I had two kids now, maybe I should sign up for some extra life insurance. There's a base minimum -- no matter what, my family gets one year's salary if I die -- but I can opt in for more than that. I went with the lowest level, to make it a grand total of two years' worth.
Because this was opt-in rather than the required base minimum, I had to submit a medical form. I didn't think anything of it, really... until they turned me down and denied the life insurance extension.
They were explicit about the reason: morbid obesity. It was a sticking point, an eye-opener, and one of the many reasons I started getting serious about getting exercise and losing weight.
Today, I got another letter from the company's life insurance carrier. This time, it was to tell me that this year's request for additional life insurance has been approved.
Of all the triumphs I've had since this whole thing started, it seems odd that this one should feel so huge. But it does, and so here we are.
Because this was opt-in rather than the required base minimum, I had to submit a medical form. I didn't think anything of it, really... until they turned me down and denied the life insurance extension.
They were explicit about the reason: morbid obesity. It was a sticking point, an eye-opener, and one of the many reasons I started getting serious about getting exercise and losing weight.
Today, I got another letter from the company's life insurance carrier. This time, it was to tell me that this year's request for additional life insurance has been approved.
Of all the triumphs I've had since this whole thing started, it seems odd that this one should feel so huge. But it does, and so here we are.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Superfast
Because things are insane at work today, so I only have a minute to update: weighed in at 164 this morning, so I'm finally over the hump. Here's hoping, anyway.
Keeping my fingers crossed that it'll stay that way; I'm only 3 pounds from my next goalpost.
Keeping my fingers crossed that it'll stay that way; I'm only 3 pounds from my next goalpost.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Coasting
Up 0.2 pounds this week, to 166.2. Which is just annoying. Especially since it was down around 165 all weekend. Stupid last-minute gains.
I've been in this general range for more than a month, now. Is it a plateau, or is it simply laziness? I'd really like to drop another 15-20 pounds before I start thinking about maintenance.
Guess I'll just hold the course and see what happens. I've got my book club tonight (munchies!) and a luncheon at work tomorrow but am hoping otherwise to be able to stick to the plan.
I've been in this general range for more than a month, now. Is it a plateau, or is it simply laziness? I'd really like to drop another 15-20 pounds before I start thinking about maintenance.
Guess I'll just hold the course and see what happens. I've got my book club tonight (munchies!) and a luncheon at work tomorrow but am hoping otherwise to be able to stick to the plan.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Dabump
Yesterday morning, I was 168.2 -- down half a pound, or thereabouts. This morning? 166.0. WTF, scale? WTF? But the Wii Fit confirmed it, so there we are: 166, down 2.6 pounds from last week, and nearly back to the 165 I was before I started letting things slip.
I think I need to cut out the evening snacking again, even when I've got the points for it. I don't know if it's that saving points for a snack makes me hungrier during the day and more inclined to cheat, or that evening food just metabolizes that much slower, or what, but I definitely lose weight faster when I cease all eating after 7pm.
I'm also, now that the weather is thinking about getting warmer and produce prices are starting to come down, thinking of trying to work salads into my lunches. It doesn't actually save me that many points -- my usual sandwich is only 4 points, and the cobb-ish salad I had yesterday was 5 (egg, avocado, meat, and cheese add up fast -- thank goodness for 0-calorie dressing!) but it does drastically increase my veggie intake and shake up my metabolism a little so it's not anticipating the same thing every day.
I've been getting some fantastic compliments from people lately -- kind of weird how that seems to come and go in waves, isn't it? But I'm not complaining! I don't see a lot of change in myself, day-to-day, so it's always good to be reminded that I am still changing, and for the better.
I think I need to cut out the evening snacking again, even when I've got the points for it. I don't know if it's that saving points for a snack makes me hungrier during the day and more inclined to cheat, or that evening food just metabolizes that much slower, or what, but I definitely lose weight faster when I cease all eating after 7pm.
I'm also, now that the weather is thinking about getting warmer and produce prices are starting to come down, thinking of trying to work salads into my lunches. It doesn't actually save me that many points -- my usual sandwich is only 4 points, and the cobb-ish salad I had yesterday was 5 (egg, avocado, meat, and cheese add up fast -- thank goodness for 0-calorie dressing!) but it does drastically increase my veggie intake and shake up my metabolism a little so it's not anticipating the same thing every day.
I've been getting some fantastic compliments from people lately -- kind of weird how that seems to come and go in waves, isn't it? But I'm not complaining! I don't see a lot of change in myself, day-to-day, so it's always good to be reminded that I am still changing, and for the better.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Aye-yup.
As anticipated, I'm up 3.6 pounds this week, to 168.6. These things happen, especially when I go off the diet and then go on vacation. I'm trying to get my fanny back into the wagon now, and hopefully it'll go as easy as it came.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
A Revelation
Yeah, so, there was Easter and Easter candy, and then there was being on vacation and eating at tourist spots and being betrayed by my usually health-nut hostess who set out chips and salsa for us and made decadent desserts, and then there was an anniversary dinner with my husband which started with foie gras on hazelnut toast and did not get much healthier from there, so while official weigh-in isn't until tomorrow, I'm pretty sure I gained a solid 3 or 4 pounds over the last two weeks. I'm braced for it and trying to get back on the wagon.
It's a reminder that, however well I've done, the bad habits and attitudes that made me fat in the first place are still lurking just under the surface -- and that, like any proper monsters, feeding them makes them stronger. It's a lesson that I need to keep in mind
But that's not what this post is.
This post is because I really, really, really missed being able to go to the gym while I was on vacation. I was looking forward to it yesterday when I remembered I had a doctor's appointment that was likely to eat up my usual hour-ish of break time that I use for going to the gym. It was just a checkup, though, so I thought maybe if the doctor only took half an hour, I could squeeze the gym in anyway.
Alas, the doctor took over two hours, exceeding my break time rather excessively, and I did not get to the gym and having to burn an hour or so of vacation time while I was at it. I was a bit surly about it.
So I went today. And I dove in with all the enthusiasm of a starving man at an all-you-can-eat buffet, to make a really inappropriate simile. Sometimes I glance over the edge of my book at the countdown clock and groan at how slow it seems to be going, but today seemed to fly by. I usually sustain a speed of about 3.6 on the elliptical; today I kept it up around 4.0, according to the end-of-workout summary, and I hadn't even felt like I was pushing that hard. When I moved around to the weightlifting side of the room, the weights felt lighter, and I even bumped up my settings on a couple of them, and did an extra round of sit-ups, just because the ache felt good.
...
Forget being able to see my cheekbones again. Forget a figure in the mirror that I haven't seen since college, and the matching number on the scale, likewise. Forget a whole wardrobe full of new clothes, and my doctors and family and friends raving about how great I look.
This. This is what balances the monsters lurking under my skin and waiting for me to make a mistake. This is what makes me know I've actually changed over the last eighteen months or so, because two years ago I would never have even thought about saying, "Oh, thank god I'll be able to get to the gym today," much less, "Wow, that burn feels great! I think I'll do some more sit-ups!" Even a year ago, I figured I'd always hate exercising, just like I always have, and that it was just something I would suck up and endure because it was better than the alternative.
Change happens, even when you don't see it coming.
It's a reminder that, however well I've done, the bad habits and attitudes that made me fat in the first place are still lurking just under the surface -- and that, like any proper monsters, feeding them makes them stronger. It's a lesson that I need to keep in mind
But that's not what this post is.
This post is because I really, really, really missed being able to go to the gym while I was on vacation. I was looking forward to it yesterday when I remembered I had a doctor's appointment that was likely to eat up my usual hour-ish of break time that I use for going to the gym. It was just a checkup, though, so I thought maybe if the doctor only took half an hour, I could squeeze the gym in anyway.
Alas, the doctor took over two hours, exceeding my break time rather excessively, and I did not get to the gym and having to burn an hour or so of vacation time while I was at it. I was a bit surly about it.
So I went today. And I dove in with all the enthusiasm of a starving man at an all-you-can-eat buffet, to make a really inappropriate simile. Sometimes I glance over the edge of my book at the countdown clock and groan at how slow it seems to be going, but today seemed to fly by. I usually sustain a speed of about 3.6 on the elliptical; today I kept it up around 4.0, according to the end-of-workout summary, and I hadn't even felt like I was pushing that hard. When I moved around to the weightlifting side of the room, the weights felt lighter, and I even bumped up my settings on a couple of them, and did an extra round of sit-ups, just because the ache felt good.
...
Forget being able to see my cheekbones again. Forget a figure in the mirror that I haven't seen since college, and the matching number on the scale, likewise. Forget a whole wardrobe full of new clothes, and my doctors and family and friends raving about how great I look.
This. This is what balances the monsters lurking under my skin and waiting for me to make a mistake. This is what makes me know I've actually changed over the last eighteen months or so, because two years ago I would never have even thought about saying, "Oh, thank god I'll be able to get to the gym today," much less, "Wow, that burn feels great! I think I'll do some more sit-ups!" Even a year ago, I figured I'd always hate exercising, just like I always have, and that it was just something I would suck up and endure because it was better than the alternative.
Change happens, even when you don't see it coming.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Steady As She Goes
My weigh-in this morning was the same as last week's weigh-in: 165. Given how horribly I ate this weekend and Monday night (Chik-fil-A and Mexican fajitas -- including half a basket of chips -- and like 4 "servings" of Whoppers candy), I'm actually sort of relieved that I didn't gain.
And in Signs of Progress, I bought some new pants this weekend - size S. Holy cow! To be fair, they're from Target, and I've found Target clothes to run a bit on the large side, and these may be a little loose even for Target, so I'm still in M pretty much everywhere else. Whatever the vicissitudes of my actual weight, I guess the targeted toning I've been doing at the gym is finally starting to pay off!
I won't have a weigh-in next week, because I'll be out of town. But we'll be staying with extremely health-conscious relatives and doing the tourist thing with the kids in tow, so I hope I won't be falling off the wagon too badly. Maybe if I'm lucky, it'll even burn off a little Easter candy!
And in Signs of Progress, I bought some new pants this weekend - size S. Holy cow! To be fair, they're from Target, and I've found Target clothes to run a bit on the large side, and these may be a little loose even for Target, so I'm still in M pretty much everywhere else. Whatever the vicissitudes of my actual weight, I guess the targeted toning I've been doing at the gym is finally starting to pay off!
I won't have a weigh-in next week, because I'll be out of town. But we'll be staying with extremely health-conscious relatives and doing the tourist thing with the kids in tow, so I hope I won't be falling off the wagon too badly. Maybe if I'm lucky, it'll even burn off a little Easter candy!
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Jump
Weighed in this morning at 165, down 2.2 from last week, for a total of 108. After going to a fancy restaurant and eating way too much, and then going to the movies and having popcorn. With butter. I'm beginning to wonder if some of the trouble I'm having is because I need to eat more, occasionally, to keep myself from going into metabolic shutdown. I haven't been as constantly freezing cold this week, either (though that could as easily be due to the fact that it's finally starting to warm up outside).
So now I'm trying to decide if I really do need to eat a little more -- or if this is one of those statistical blips that, if I pay attention to it, will get me into trouble.
Well, if things go according to pattern, I'll be back up to 166 or so next week. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime, I'm only about 20 pounds (ish) from being done with this phase of things. And that feels pretty awesome.
So now I'm trying to decide if I really do need to eat a little more -- or if this is one of those statistical blips that, if I pay attention to it, will get me into trouble.
Well, if things go according to pattern, I'll be back up to 166 or so next week. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens. In the meantime, I'm only about 20 pounds (ish) from being done with this phase of things. And that feels pretty awesome.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Recipe For Success
Back down to 167.2 this morning, which loses most of last week's gain. (It was 166 yesterday morning, and 165.6 the day before that. Stupid Wednesday gain.) I really don't have much to say about it, one way or the other.
But I'd been meaning to document a couple of recent recipe discoveries, so I might as well do that.
Cauliflower Soup
8 oz of chopped onion
1 tsp butter
1 head of cauliflower, cut into chunks
1 16-oz can of diced potatoes, drained (or 12 oz of diced fresh potato)
4 cups chicken or vegetable broth or stock2 cups of water (or more as needed)
1/2 tsp caraway seed
salt and pepper to taste
Coat the bottom of a large stock pot with cooking spray and place over medium-high heat. Add the butter and the onion, sprinkle with salt to help the onion sweat, and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion begins to caramelize. Add the potatoes, cauliflower, spices, broth, and water, bring to a boil, and simmer until the vegetables are tender and soft, about 15 minutes. Use a stick blender to puree the vegetables to the desired consistency.
Weirdly, this tastes much more strongly of potato than it does of cauliflower. It's an extremely versatile soup, and just about any favorite spice combination would do nicely. My daughter and I both love this soup.
If you split it into 6 servings of about 2 cups each, it's about 1.5 points per serving.
Stuffed Zucchini
3 pounds fresh zucchini (6-8 small or 4 large)
8 oz lean ground beef (7% fat or less)
1/4 c. egg substitute
1/4 c. bread crumbs
1/4 c. grated parmesan cheese
1 Tbsp chopped parsley
salt and pepper to taste
Split the zucchini in half lengthwise. Trim the stem ends if necessary, leaving as much flesh as possible. Using a melon baller or grapefruit spoon, carefully scoop a trough out of the center of each half, saving the innards. Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray and arrange the hollowed zucchini halves on it. Chop the reserved zucchini innards finely and put in a mixing bowl along with the ground beef, egg substitute, 1 Tbsp. of the cheese, 1 Tbsp of the bread crumbs, and the spices. Stir until well-mixed, then divide the beef mixture into the zucchini halves. Sprinkle the remaining bread crumbs and cheese over the tops, and bake at 350 for about half an hour, until the zucchini is soft and the beef cooked through.
Divided into 4 servings, this is 3 points per serving. And they are BIG servings. If you're using smaller zucchini and a couple of filling side-dishes, this could easily split to 6-8 servings. Half a pound of hamburger doesn't seem like all that much, but once you've mixed it in with the zucchini innards, it stretches surprisingly well -- and my son, who hates zucchini, ate the filling without noticing a thing.
But I'd been meaning to document a couple of recent recipe discoveries, so I might as well do that.
Cauliflower Soup
8 oz of chopped onion
1 tsp butter
1 head of cauliflower, cut into chunks
1 16-oz can of diced potatoes, drained (or 12 oz of diced fresh potato)
4 cups chicken or vegetable broth or stock2 cups of water (or more as needed)
1/2 tsp caraway seed
salt and pepper to taste
Coat the bottom of a large stock pot with cooking spray and place over medium-high heat. Add the butter and the onion, sprinkle with salt to help the onion sweat, and cook, stirring occasionally, until the onion begins to caramelize. Add the potatoes, cauliflower, spices, broth, and water, bring to a boil, and simmer until the vegetables are tender and soft, about 15 minutes. Use a stick blender to puree the vegetables to the desired consistency.
Weirdly, this tastes much more strongly of potato than it does of cauliflower. It's an extremely versatile soup, and just about any favorite spice combination would do nicely. My daughter and I both love this soup.
If you split it into 6 servings of about 2 cups each, it's about 1.5 points per serving.
Stuffed Zucchini
3 pounds fresh zucchini (6-8 small or 4 large)
8 oz lean ground beef (7% fat or less)
1/4 c. egg substitute
1/4 c. bread crumbs
1/4 c. grated parmesan cheese
1 Tbsp chopped parsley
salt and pepper to taste
Split the zucchini in half lengthwise. Trim the stem ends if necessary, leaving as much flesh as possible. Using a melon baller or grapefruit spoon, carefully scoop a trough out of the center of each half, saving the innards. Spray a baking sheet with cooking spray and arrange the hollowed zucchini halves on it. Chop the reserved zucchini innards finely and put in a mixing bowl along with the ground beef, egg substitute, 1 Tbsp. of the cheese, 1 Tbsp of the bread crumbs, and the spices. Stir until well-mixed, then divide the beef mixture into the zucchini halves. Sprinkle the remaining bread crumbs and cheese over the tops, and bake at 350 for about half an hour, until the zucchini is soft and the beef cooked through.
Divided into 4 servings, this is 3 points per serving. And they are BIG servings. If you're using smaller zucchini and a couple of filling side-dishes, this could easily split to 6-8 servings. Half a pound of hamburger doesn't seem like all that much, but once you've mixed it in with the zucchini innards, it stretches surprisingly well -- and my son, who hates zucchini, ate the filling without noticing a thing.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Elephino
What do you call a cross between an elephant and a rhinoceros? Elephino!
Hell if I know. Yeah. One of those weeks. I gained back what I lost last week -- 1.6 up, back to 168.6.
I have no idea. I spent all week bouncing up and down, weight-wise. Every day, practically, I stepped on the scale to a new result.
I'd blame it on the pizza and cake Saturday, except that just yesterday I was at 167.2, and while bad eating sometimes takes a day or so to show up on the scale, I'm pretty sure it does not wait for four days.
I went a little over my minimum on Monday, but only by two points, so that shouldn't have hit me this hard. And I was a point under minimum yesterday, so you'd think they'd have averaged out.
It's been three weeks since my last gain, which means this probably isn't monthly water weight (though my cycle's so screwy, it's always an option, I suppose).
Apparently, the whole two-steps-forward-one-step-back thing is just how it's going to be for me, for now. Does that mean I'm closing in on my body's preferred "final" weight? I'd hoped to get down to about 145, but at my current rate, that'll take another whole year. But I certainly feel like I'm closing in on a point where I don't know if I'll be able to trim too many more calories, certainly not on a long-term basis.
I'm definitely noticing some results from the strength training I've been doing for the last couple of months. Even with the slowed weight loss, my clothes are getting looser. (My size M knits are actually loose enough that I'm tempted to try on a pair of Smalls, next time I'm in Target. Just for kicks.) So maybe it's partly a gaining-muscle/losing-fat thing?
On the plus side, I feel a little disappointed, but not particularly discouraged by the gain. I seem to have finally internalized the whole "but the overall trend is still in the right direction" thing. So maybe I do this down-down-up dance for a while longer, and just focus on making my body stronger. Maybe once I've built up my muscles a little more, I'll start burning calories again. Or maybe I just settle out at around 160? It could be worse. I think I look pretty good where I am now -- and the stuff I don't like is mostly saggy skin, which losing weight won't fix, anyway.
It's a weird place to be, on this journey, but I'm weirdly at peace with it.
Elephino.
Hell if I know. Yeah. One of those weeks. I gained back what I lost last week -- 1.6 up, back to 168.6.
I have no idea. I spent all week bouncing up and down, weight-wise. Every day, practically, I stepped on the scale to a new result.
I'd blame it on the pizza and cake Saturday, except that just yesterday I was at 167.2, and while bad eating sometimes takes a day or so to show up on the scale, I'm pretty sure it does not wait for four days.
I went a little over my minimum on Monday, but only by two points, so that shouldn't have hit me this hard. And I was a point under minimum yesterday, so you'd think they'd have averaged out.
It's been three weeks since my last gain, which means this probably isn't monthly water weight (though my cycle's so screwy, it's always an option, I suppose).
Apparently, the whole two-steps-forward-one-step-back thing is just how it's going to be for me, for now. Does that mean I'm closing in on my body's preferred "final" weight? I'd hoped to get down to about 145, but at my current rate, that'll take another whole year. But I certainly feel like I'm closing in on a point where I don't know if I'll be able to trim too many more calories, certainly not on a long-term basis.
I'm definitely noticing some results from the strength training I've been doing for the last couple of months. Even with the slowed weight loss, my clothes are getting looser. (My size M knits are actually loose enough that I'm tempted to try on a pair of Smalls, next time I'm in Target. Just for kicks.) So maybe it's partly a gaining-muscle/losing-fat thing?
On the plus side, I feel a little disappointed, but not particularly discouraged by the gain. I seem to have finally internalized the whole "but the overall trend is still in the right direction" thing. So maybe I do this down-down-up dance for a while longer, and just focus on making my body stronger. Maybe once I've built up my muscles a little more, I'll start burning calories again. Or maybe I just settle out at around 160? It could be worse. I think I look pretty good where I am now -- and the stuff I don't like is mostly saggy skin, which losing weight won't fix, anyway.
It's a weird place to be, on this journey, but I'm weirdly at peace with it.
Elephino.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
I'll Take It
Pretty much immediately after last week's weigh-in, my weight popped up to 170.4, and it sat there all week. It was 170.4 yesterday morning when I checked, and I sighed and tried to reconcile myself to a nearly 2-pound gain with no real reason attached.
So this morning, I stepped on the scale and saw... 167.
Which is a 1.6 pound loss (106 pounds grand total, 6 pounds away from my next -- and possibly final -- 10% goal.)
I don't understand it, but I'll take it.
So this morning, I stepped on the scale and saw... 167.
Which is a 1.6 pound loss (106 pounds grand total, 6 pounds away from my next -- and possibly final -- 10% goal.)
I don't understand it, but I'll take it.
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Who Knows?
This morning's weigh-in was 168.6. So, er, 4.2 pounds lost this week, which is last week's 3 gone plus another 1.2, so my average over the last 2 weeks is 0.6 lost per week. Which is just about normal for me lately. So maybe last week's weird gain was mostly water weight?
Biology is not chemistry. And it's definitely not math.
But I should probably stick with the whole "not eating after 7" thing for a while, just to be sure.
(Not that I entirely stuck with it this week -- I got invited to an Event on Saturday, at which I ate a ridiculous amount of gourmet chocolate. But other than that, I did pretty well.)
Biology is not chemistry. And it's definitely not math.
But I should probably stick with the whole "not eating after 7" thing for a while, just to be sure.
(Not that I entirely stuck with it this week -- I got invited to an Event on Saturday, at which I ate a ridiculous amount of gourmet chocolate. But other than that, I did pretty well.)
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
ACK
I'm up three pounds this week. That puts me at 172.8, which is perilously close to making me lose my 100-pounds-lost cred.
It's Karen's fault. She lost like six pounds this week, so she must have greebled my loss.
I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I ate like a quarter of a king cake all by myself, and had cupcakes and chocolate cookies and triscuits for Valentine's Day and went out to eat and had mashed potatoes instead of broccoli and went to Rock Band and ate more cupcakes and chips and was generally and in all other ways and complete pig all week. Nope, not at all the problem.
So it's back in the saddle and strict logging and actually measuring portions instead of eyeballing them. And just to be sure, until I've lost those three pounds, plus one more for good measure, I'm cutting out any and all food after 7pm. Doesn't matter if I have points left. Doesn't matter how hungry I am. Doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing or who I'm with. No. Food. After. 7. Until I have an official weigh-in that's below (not at) 169.
I've come too far to let laziness and gluttony triumph over me now.
It's Karen's fault. She lost like six pounds this week, so she must have greebled my loss.
I'm sure it has nothing to do with the fact that I ate like a quarter of a king cake all by myself, and had cupcakes and chocolate cookies and triscuits for Valentine's Day and went out to eat and had mashed potatoes instead of broccoli and went to Rock Band and ate more cupcakes and chips and was generally and in all other ways and complete pig all week. Nope, not at all the problem.
So it's back in the saddle and strict logging and actually measuring portions instead of eyeballing them. And just to be sure, until I've lost those three pounds, plus one more for good measure, I'm cutting out any and all food after 7pm. Doesn't matter if I have points left. Doesn't matter how hungry I am. Doesn't matter where I am or what I'm doing or who I'm with. No. Food. After. 7. Until I have an official weigh-in that's below (not at) 169.
I've come too far to let laziness and gluttony triumph over me now.
Friday, February 12, 2010
WTH
The Wii Fit tells me that I've gained three pounds in the last four days, undoing two or three weeks' worth of progress.
But I bought some jeans a couple of weeks ago that I could zip up but not sit down in, and as of this morning, I can, in fact, both zip them up and sit down. They're not the comfiest pair of pants I own, but I'm wearing them and expect to make it through the day just fine.
What. The. Hell.
(Oh yeah, and this weekend? Valentine's party. For which I've already made cupcakes. I don't expect next week's weigh-in to be anything like happy.)
But I bought some jeans a couple of weeks ago that I could zip up but not sit down in, and as of this morning, I can, in fact, both zip them up and sit down. They're not the comfiest pair of pants I own, but I'm wearing them and expect to make it through the day just fine.
What. The. Hell.
(Oh yeah, and this weekend? Valentine's party. For which I've already made cupcakes. I don't expect next week's weigh-in to be anything like happy.)
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Ha!
Well, the Wii Fit, as usual, says I gained a pound and a half between Monday and today, but the bathroom scale failed to get the memo, so I'm down 1.4 pounds this week, to 169.8. Whether my weird little down-up pattern will be back on track next week and pop me back up into the 170s, I don't know.
Everything is moving so slowly these days, I've caught myself wondering if I would be content to call it done sooner than I'd originally thought, maybe somewhere in the 160s. It's tempting. I made the really big goals -- the 100 pounds lost, the dip out of the "obese" category. Goals forward from here all seem sort of... lackluster. And I think I look pretty good, actually. I'm in Mediums and Larges, so I can shop pretty much wherever I want. I wouldn't mind a little less loose skin around my arms and legs, and a little less muffin peeking over my tighter pants, but I expect I'm stuck with the granny arms and thighs -- at my age, the skin isn't as elastic as it once was -- and what of it can be fixed is going to be the result of patience and targeted muscle building, not mere loss. Or, possibly, surgery (yes, I've seriously given consideration to surgery to fix the granny arms, but I don't think I can afford it).
On the other hand, I'm still firmly in the "overweight" category, and while I have a lot of issues with the BMI categories, I expect the 160s are still much heavier than optimal for someone my height. I certainly don't expect to get back to my high school/early college weight -- if nothing else, I've had two babies since then, and the change to my boobs is probably worth a solid 5 pounds all by itself. But it might be nice to get within 10-15 pounds of that weight.
So I'm trying to fight that temptation -- once I got back on plan after the holidays, I did start losing again. And it's not like I get to relax all that much once I graduate to maintenance. Not if I want to avoid backsliding and regaining a lot of weight. And honestly, maintenance is even harder than losing, because there isn't that sense of change to keep you motivated.
So for now, I'll keep plugging away at it.
Everything is moving so slowly these days, I've caught myself wondering if I would be content to call it done sooner than I'd originally thought, maybe somewhere in the 160s. It's tempting. I made the really big goals -- the 100 pounds lost, the dip out of the "obese" category. Goals forward from here all seem sort of... lackluster. And I think I look pretty good, actually. I'm in Mediums and Larges, so I can shop pretty much wherever I want. I wouldn't mind a little less loose skin around my arms and legs, and a little less muffin peeking over my tighter pants, but I expect I'm stuck with the granny arms and thighs -- at my age, the skin isn't as elastic as it once was -- and what of it can be fixed is going to be the result of patience and targeted muscle building, not mere loss. Or, possibly, surgery (yes, I've seriously given consideration to surgery to fix the granny arms, but I don't think I can afford it).
On the other hand, I'm still firmly in the "overweight" category, and while I have a lot of issues with the BMI categories, I expect the 160s are still much heavier than optimal for someone my height. I certainly don't expect to get back to my high school/early college weight -- if nothing else, I've had two babies since then, and the change to my boobs is probably worth a solid 5 pounds all by itself. But it might be nice to get within 10-15 pounds of that weight.
So I'm trying to fight that temptation -- once I got back on plan after the holidays, I did start losing again. And it's not like I get to relax all that much once I graduate to maintenance. Not if I want to avoid backsliding and regaining a lot of weight. And honestly, maintenance is even harder than losing, because there isn't that sense of change to keep you motivated.
So for now, I'll keep plugging away at it.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Patterns
Since I do 15 minutes of yoga with my Wii Fit every weekday morning, it tracks my weight almost every day. For the last five or six weeks, there's this interesting pattern: Monday is always the lowest weight of the week. And then I pop back up before my weigh-in on Wednesday, and sometimes Thursday and Friday go back down, and sometimes they stay where they are. But Monday always shows a significant drop, and it always goes back up before my weigh-in.
My daily weigh-in in the bathroom more or less matches this. Sometimes the bathroom scale lags behind the Wii Fit by a day or so -- but again, it always pops me up for weigh-in day.
And this seems to be entirely irrelevant to whether I eat out over the weekend, or go out and do stuff on Monday evening. Whether I'm below minimum points or have dipped into my weekly points. Always a dip over the weekend that's gone by Tuesday or Wednesday.
The good news is that since it's an obvious pattern and I haven't found anything that will affect it... I guess I can just ignore it.
So though I was significantly lower yesterday, this morning I am 171.2. Which is a drop of 0.6 from last week that puts my overall loss at 101.8.
On the plus side, I'm experimenting with some recipes from the Hungry Girl cookbook I got for Christmas. Some of them are more gimmicky than useful, but some of them have been really awesome. I'm particularly fond of the apple-pie-in-a-cup recipe that uses cinnamon imperials for flavoring (though I had to recalculate the points based on a full-sized apple, because I don't know any stores that sell what qualifies as "medium" apples). I've also made some 2-point key lime pie tartlets that are really quite tasty.
This week I'll be testing out a recipe for apple and broccoli slaw that sounded tasty. Next week's experiment is baked "fried" zucchini.
My daily weigh-in in the bathroom more or less matches this. Sometimes the bathroom scale lags behind the Wii Fit by a day or so -- but again, it always pops me up for weigh-in day.
And this seems to be entirely irrelevant to whether I eat out over the weekend, or go out and do stuff on Monday evening. Whether I'm below minimum points or have dipped into my weekly points. Always a dip over the weekend that's gone by Tuesday or Wednesday.
The good news is that since it's an obvious pattern and I haven't found anything that will affect it... I guess I can just ignore it.
So though I was significantly lower yesterday, this morning I am 171.2. Which is a drop of 0.6 from last week that puts my overall loss at 101.8.
On the plus side, I'm experimenting with some recipes from the Hungry Girl cookbook I got for Christmas. Some of them are more gimmicky than useful, but some of them have been really awesome. I'm particularly fond of the apple-pie-in-a-cup recipe that uses cinnamon imperials for flavoring (though I had to recalculate the points based on a full-sized apple, because I don't know any stores that sell what qualifies as "medium" apples). I've also made some 2-point key lime pie tartlets that are really quite tasty.
This week I'll be testing out a recipe for apple and broccoli slaw that sounded tasty. Next week's experiment is baked "fried" zucchini.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Creeping
Okay, a 1-pound loss this week takes me to 171.8 (total lost of 101.2). Over the weekend, I was down to 170.4 and then popped back up, but I think that had to do with some (ahem) feminine matters. We Shall See, I suppose.
At any rate, I'm pleased not to have completely stalled out.
Brief post today, as I forgot to post this morning when I usually do my writing, and now that I've remembered, I'm in kind of a Mood. It's been one of those days. Anyway, yay progress, right?
At any rate, I'm pleased not to have completely stalled out.
Brief post today, as I forgot to post this morning when I usually do my writing, and now that I've remembered, I'm in kind of a Mood. It's been one of those days. Anyway, yay progress, right?
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Treading Water
Today's weigh-in is... 172.8. Exactly the same as it was last week. I'm trying not to be discouraged -- there are, after all, a bunch of potential factors at work.
For starters, in the "I'm not as healthy as I think I am" category, we went out to eat Sunday at a hibachi restaurant to celebrate a family birthday. I love hibachi, and I'm sure I over-ate. Since my 2-year-old wasn't interested in his soup or salad, I ate his in addition to mine, as an aid to filling up. And I ate a big bunch of his vegetables, too. I indulged in the steak and chicken combo, and ate every last bit of my steak -- but I left about half the chicken and probably more than half my rice on my plate. I thought I'd done pretty well, all told, but of course even the vegetables had been cooked with oil and butter, so maybe it was more than I thought.
And then in the realm of "willpower? what willpower?", I played Rock Band with some friends Monday night, and even though I'd brought some low-point snacks for myself, I caved and ate some chips, too. I don't think I went too overboard, but... overboard is overboard, I guess.
In the land of "not actually my fault", I've got a mild-but-persistent cold, which is probably dragging my metabolism down.
And in the world of "short-term loss for long-term gain" (or the reverse, as it may be) my change-up at the gym means that I've replaced about 15 minutes of cardio with 15 minutes or so of weight lifting, so I'm both losing 15 minutes' worth of steady calorie-burn and gaining muscle-weight. Which makes me wish I had a more recent set of measurements, so I can do those comparisons. I should try to remember to do those monthly, or thereabouts, I guess.
On the plus side, I've been getting a lot of compliments, lately, which is nice for my ego.
For starters, in the "I'm not as healthy as I think I am" category, we went out to eat Sunday at a hibachi restaurant to celebrate a family birthday. I love hibachi, and I'm sure I over-ate. Since my 2-year-old wasn't interested in his soup or salad, I ate his in addition to mine, as an aid to filling up. And I ate a big bunch of his vegetables, too. I indulged in the steak and chicken combo, and ate every last bit of my steak -- but I left about half the chicken and probably more than half my rice on my plate. I thought I'd done pretty well, all told, but of course even the vegetables had been cooked with oil and butter, so maybe it was more than I thought.
And then in the realm of "willpower? what willpower?", I played Rock Band with some friends Monday night, and even though I'd brought some low-point snacks for myself, I caved and ate some chips, too. I don't think I went too overboard, but... overboard is overboard, I guess.
In the land of "not actually my fault", I've got a mild-but-persistent cold, which is probably dragging my metabolism down.
And in the world of "short-term loss for long-term gain" (or the reverse, as it may be) my change-up at the gym means that I've replaced about 15 minutes of cardio with 15 minutes or so of weight lifting, so I'm both losing 15 minutes' worth of steady calorie-burn and gaining muscle-weight. Which makes me wish I had a more recent set of measurements, so I can do those comparisons. I should try to remember to do those monthly, or thereabouts, I guess.
On the plus side, I've been getting a lot of compliments, lately, which is nice for my ego.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Signposts and Markers
Back in November, before the holidays closed in, I crossed the threshold on my fourth 10% goal, and at the time, I noted that I was awfully close to a few other major milestones, so I was going to hold off on celebrating that signpost until I'd lost another five pounds.
Then the holidays hit, and I more or less went into a holding pattern for the next six weeks. Which is okay. I'd given myself permission to do that. I'm pretty proud, in fact, that I managed to restrain myself as much as I did. But now I'm back on track and trying to get back on the wagon, and it hasn't been remotely like easy, but I'm (mostly) doing it.
And I've been rewarded for it. This morning's weigh-in put me at 172.8. That's 1.6 for the week, and more importantly, a grand total loss of 100.2 pounds. And the Wii Fit has been reporting for several weeks now that I've dropped below the line that separates "obese" from merely "overweight".
So I passed my fourth 10% goal.
And I'm not obese any more.
And I've lost. One. Hundred. Pounds.
Do you know what difference one hundred pounds makes?
Here I am, a year and a half ago (I'm the one with the baby, though it's worth mentioning that everyone else in that picture has been on Weight Watchers since then, too, and has made similarly impressive progress):
...and here I am now:
I'm not even sure someone who hadn't known me for the last two years would be able to recognize me. I still own that t-shirt I'm wearing in the top picture, because it was one of my favorites and I can't bring myself to throw it away -- but it hangs down nearly to my knees like some kind of bizarre minidress. I'm wearing about half size M clothes, and the Ls I'm wearing are almost exclusively because my boobs are DD cups and just don't squeeze into some M cuts. (Which is absurd. I've lost 100 pounds, and my boobs have only gone down one cup size? The husband isn't complaining, natch, but y'know, I'd be okay with a regular D cup, I really would.) I own a pair of size 12 jeans, and they don't even give me a muffin-top (well, not much, anyway).
Mind you, I'm not by any means done. I've got another 30 or 40 pounds to go. (If I lose another 36.4 pounds, I'll be able to say I'm less than half the woman I was -- but that would put me right at about the weight I was in high school, and after 2 babies and with these DD cups, I don't know how feasible that really is. On the other hand, my starting point for this diet is actually not the heaviest I've ever been, so I expect I'll eventually be able to say that anyway.)
But I've made it, over the last 15 months, to these three milestones, and I think it's time to celebrate, and celebrate BIG. I'm still pondering what my celebration/reward should be, but I've got a few notions. Anyone want to offer up any suggestions?
Then the holidays hit, and I more or less went into a holding pattern for the next six weeks. Which is okay. I'd given myself permission to do that. I'm pretty proud, in fact, that I managed to restrain myself as much as I did. But now I'm back on track and trying to get back on the wagon, and it hasn't been remotely like easy, but I'm (mostly) doing it.
And I've been rewarded for it. This morning's weigh-in put me at 172.8. That's 1.6 for the week, and more importantly, a grand total loss of 100.2 pounds. And the Wii Fit has been reporting for several weeks now that I've dropped below the line that separates "obese" from merely "overweight".
So I passed my fourth 10% goal.
And I'm not obese any more.
And I've lost. One. Hundred. Pounds.
Do you know what difference one hundred pounds makes?
Here I am, a year and a half ago (I'm the one with the baby, though it's worth mentioning that everyone else in that picture has been on Weight Watchers since then, too, and has made similarly impressive progress):
...and here I am now:
Mind you, I'm not by any means done. I've got another 30 or 40 pounds to go. (If I lose another 36.4 pounds, I'll be able to say I'm less than half the woman I was -- but that would put me right at about the weight I was in high school, and after 2 babies and with these DD cups, I don't know how feasible that really is. On the other hand, my starting point for this diet is actually not the heaviest I've ever been, so I expect I'll eventually be able to say that anyway.)
But I've made it, over the last 15 months, to these three milestones, and I think it's time to celebrate, and celebrate BIG. I'm still pondering what my celebration/reward should be, but I've got a few notions. Anyone want to offer up any suggestions?
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Recovery
This morning's weigh-in was 174.2 -- 1.6 for the week, 98.8 total, and putting me this close to being back to my pre-Christmas low.
I decided Monday morning, when the various feasts and dinners and such were all done and it was definitely time to get seriously back on the wagon, that I needed to be especially strict for a week or two. Not just logging and meeting my points goal for each day, but also meeting all the nutrition checkoffs. No junk food at all, even counting points for it -- all snacks must be heavy in nutritional value: fruits, veggies, or yogurt. No evening snacking at all, even fruits or veggies, until I've broken the evening grazing habit. Must absolutely do my 15-minute Wii Fit routine every weekday morning, must absolutely make it to the gym at least three times a week.
So Monday and Tuesday were a bit rocky. I did a lot of pacing and I drank a shocking amount of tea. Today will be rough, too, I expect. And possibly tomorrow. But I've been sliding for the last six weeks or so -- I've been more or less maintaining my weight since Thanksgiving -- and while I'd given myself permission to do so, I need to get back into control if I want this last thirty or forty pounds gone by the end of the year.
Maybe if I'm vigilant and determined, next week's weigh-in will earn me that coveted and elusive 100-pounds-lost mark!
I decided Monday morning, when the various feasts and dinners and such were all done and it was definitely time to get seriously back on the wagon, that I needed to be especially strict for a week or two. Not just logging and meeting my points goal for each day, but also meeting all the nutrition checkoffs. No junk food at all, even counting points for it -- all snacks must be heavy in nutritional value: fruits, veggies, or yogurt. No evening snacking at all, even fruits or veggies, until I've broken the evening grazing habit. Must absolutely do my 15-minute Wii Fit routine every weekday morning, must absolutely make it to the gym at least three times a week.
So Monday and Tuesday were a bit rocky. I did a lot of pacing and I drank a shocking amount of tea. Today will be rough, too, I expect. And possibly tomorrow. But I've been sliding for the last six weeks or so -- I've been more or less maintaining my weight since Thanksgiving -- and while I'd given myself permission to do so, I need to get back into control if I want this last thirty or forty pounds gone by the end of the year.
Maybe if I'm vigilant and determined, next week's weigh-in will earn me that coveted and elusive 100-pounds-lost mark!
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